Scarlett’s Money Shot
These new Moët ads with Scar-Jo do little to revert the notion that the act of popping the champagne cork is just one big innuendo.
There’s another iteration floating around with a whole crowd getting sprayed on.
I’m sure this all seemed good at the time, but the clean up is always a bit awkward isn’t it?
The famous tale of Uncle Christmas has finally been brought to life thanks to a most convenient road accident.
Fran Allan has crafted this delightful piece of Yuletide folklore in her quaint workshop in the taxidermy hotbed of Tarrs, Pennsylvania.
He’s available for the Buy It Now! price of $150 on Ebay.
Hurry! Only 496 hours left till Christmas.
FACT: Sandra Hartness is the queen of Creative Grooming.
me:
“Can you turn your poodle into a Camel?”
Sandra:
“dunn it.”
Me:
“Ninja Turtle?”
Sandra
“Complete with eye bandana and pizza breath, darlin.”
Me (running out of challenges)
“Pacman?!”
Sandra:
“Why don’t you jus click the pic and see fer yerself, sugah.”
All I gotta type is you’ll want to stalk the shit out of Sandra after you experience her entire portfolio.
I have creativity envy.
Real bad.
I Saw Mother Swinging With Schweppes
Mix 50’s style illo with slightly rude boardwalk cutouts & you get the new Schweppes 10 second idents from Mother London.
The purposefully misleading conservative style juxtaposed with unexpected posh rudeness works really well here.
“Come on everyone put your keys in!”—anytime you can manage to slip a swinging reference into a Jesusmas advert, you’re doing something right.
Hopefully more brands will follow suit with some original Yuletide ads this year.
Maybe then we could endure this season’s latest barrage of cheesy, self-important Xmas ads featuring jamie O, fake snow & the Top Gear Hamster.
From the GROVEMBER Archives…
Skittles ‘Beard’ (2007) by TBWA\CHIAT\DAY
A modern classic of follicle fueled ad strangeness.
I will be giving a tutorial* on how to do this on Friday in Skive’s Red Light District.
*All participating parties required to grow their beard to waist length before then.
Paul Quin at 18 months
I’m currently amidst an indepth genealogical study on a few of GROVEMBER 2009’s hairiest competitors.
My aim is to successfully detect and harvest the gene responsible for accelerated facial hair growth and sell it on Ebay as a miracle tonic.
So far many of your parents have been particularly helpful in aiding my research.
Especially Quiny’s Mum who sent in this photo of him as an 18 month old.
As you can see, the gift is visible at a very early age.
Typing of which, I’ll be around later today to document your growth through week 3.
Till then.
Long before the WWF shocked the world with their World Trade Center themed PSA (see it here: http://bit.ly/WWF911ad )
The other WWF harnessed similar in your face scare tactics in an anti-smoking campaign featuring The Ultimate Warrior.
Take away message:
“Seriously kids don’t smoke. It weakens the potency of those steroids you stab into your ass cheek every morning.”
Bank Robbery Notes
Copywriting at its best?
Short and to the point with persuasive call to action.
http://www.banknotes365.com hosts a collection of these notes and their highly sought after authors.
Have a read and judge for yourself.
If they don’t make you laugh at first, just think about all the bank teller pants they’ve soiled.
If being able to convince someone to shart themselves AND give you money isn’t persuasive copywriting, then I don’t know what is.
Before you spike your phone because a low signal prevents you from tweeting about your broken LED belt buckle. Watch this.
Never really cared for Louis CK that much, but some really good stuff from him here on Conan.
Technological advancement has softened us into a bunch of whiny lil brats*.
*not to be confused with ‘Bratz’. Society hasn’t slipped that far yet.
Ahh yes it’s that time once again and the air around the office absolutely reeks of anticipation.
For those of you not familiar with this month long test of testosterone, allow me to bring you up to speed.
Grovember is skive’s annual fraternal facial hair growing competition held throughout the month of November.
There is no connection to Movember or any charitable cause.
This is just a formal opportunity to help realise one another’s facial hair growing potential and an excuse to grab a beer at London’s moustache mecca at the end of the month.
Last year we had 11 dedicated competitors and this year, in an attempt to break that number, we’ve altered the format.
The Rules:
1. We’ve expanded to include all types of facial hairstyles and genders
There are so many majestic facial hairstyles, why should we limit ourselves to the faddy moustache? and ladies we want you to join in too
2. Participants are no longer required to be clean shaven at the start
3. They will, however, be required to sketch their intended facial hairstyle onto the ‘Porcelain Mao’
4. Competition still divided into two divisions of growing ability: Heavyweight & Lightweight
5. Personal follicle development will be tracked via weekly photograph every Monday
6. Awards will be handed out at a ceremony held on the last Friday of the month November 27th at the Windsor Castle Pub home of the beloved handlebar moustache club
It all kicks off again on Monday, so if you’re participating I highly recommend alerting the significant other they may become a little less significant in the upcoming month.
Good luck.
Writing copy for generic personality quizzes is difficult.
More often than not I can’t use what I write.
Apparently client and consumer can’t handle honest personality analysis.
Here’s some recent rejected copy.
“Based on your answers to our Funbelievable Personal!ty Qu!z we can tell you are a person who enjoys interactive content online and you’re not afraid of overt branding.
Although ethical business practice is something you feel passionate about and constantly preach about to your friends and family, you will happily overlook any infringements if it means protesting would inconvenience any aspect of your daily routine or eating habits.
You detest your job and your wife hates you. Unfortunately you’re too old to upgrade either one. You once thought you could get the best of both worlds working in porn, however you determined the circumference, not necessarily the length, of your penis would keep you out of work.
So you continue to be too afraid and neurotic to try and do what you want. Instead you waste your time coming up with excuses and filling out personality quizzes like these hoping you’ll gain some hidden insight or answer somewhere amongst all this generalized personality bullshit that can be interpreted to describe anyone, anywhere.
Click Here to send to a friend! or retake the quiz!!!”
The results are in amigo.
Thanks for all the entries in my self-aggrandizing quest to discover my lesbian celebrity doppelgänger.
Most were equally insulting, but one submission by Dave Lindquist from Boston was spot on and hands down the outright winner.
His submission suggested I am the implausible love child of radio host Rachel Maddow and singer/song writer Tegan or Sara.
I think you’ll agree these are some handsome ladies to which I have an uncanny resemblance.
Dave will, of course, be the recipient of the congratulatory postcard written with my own harvest of body hair which he will most likely not even look at before throwing it in the garbage or permanently ignoring it in the mailbox.
butch haircut? Name the correct lesbian celebrity i resemble most & win a postcard written with my body hair
Just when you think you’re perverted, Toshio Saeki totally shows you up with a french kissing siamese genital twin.
Damn he’s good.
Wish my brain operated on this level.
I’m sure the mrs. does too.
Want. Need. Must have.
